Loving My Neighbor follow-up

OK, so I did it I tried very hard to love my neighbor as myself and let me tell you it caused me to do a lot of inner looking cause I failed what seemed like everyday. Some people are hard to love let alone like, and those are the same people I am to pray for and love like I love myself? It became such a struggle that it got to the point where it seemed like I was just either constantly talking to God in my head or asking Him to forgive me cause I had failed yet again.
And right when I went to give up I looked out the window and saw a bird soar across the sky and it hit me. If you look at your relationship with God as though He is your father and you are His child, He doesn't expect you to be perfect, actually He already knows you cant be. What I believe He wants is for you to try your best, because if you try a little more each day it becomes easier. Easier to smile when someone frowns at you, easier to say something nice then something mean, easier not to judge and try to understand. 
 I think part of the reason God wants me to love my neighbor like I love myself is because well think about it, is it easier to talk about the homeless man on the street or give him a sandwich, is it easier to curse someone out when they look at you wrong or smile at them? Is it easier to show God's love or hide it depending on your mood and situation? 
Hey I am not perfect and I learned a lot during this, a lot about how I love myself and I get it. At least I think I get it, but then again this is really just the experiment of me not you  :-o

PS..If you are wondering about the bird it was a pretty bird and it was really just soaring controlling every movement with hardly any movement at all.

Loving your neighbor

I am a Christian not perfect, just forgiven and to be completely honest there are times I feel like I need to be forgiven alot more then the average Christian. And the reason for this blog is to chronical my way back from being semi backsliden to completely right with God. Even that statement makes me think are we ever completely right with God. And yesterday this commandment helped me realize I will always be asking for forgivness:
Mark 12:31 The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”
I wish God would have made it an option and not a commandment, because I realize that there are times I can't do it. Like when my children are involved if I even feel like you look at my children in an out of pocket way I am ready to pounce on you. Imagine how bad I must be if I feel you are trying to endanger them?! Yesterday someone looked at my children wrong and the last thing I did was love that person or let them see the love of Christ in me. So why would God give us such a commandment and why and how does He expect us to keep it? Is it even possible? And dont be so quick to say "yes" be more honest with yourself look deep within the recess of your heart and mind.
And then you know what comes to mind, God not Jesus, God comes to mind He gave His only Son for me, for us, and he let Him suffer so we could have the greatest gift ever. If He tells me to love my neighbor as myself then I can surely not attack a lady for looking at my children with disgust and show her a little Christ like love. Yes I said little after all I am human and not perfect and trying is all I can do..
So my expermiment today and for the rest of the week is to try  harder then I ever really have to show Christ love to everyone I meet and to love them, love them as though they were my neighbor. I will let you know how this works out.
The Experiment of Me :-)

Never Say Why

Someone should have taken that word out of my vocabulary at a very young age it has done me more harm than good all my life. It is like that song that has no ending your children try to learn the words to and then they happen to master it on a long car ride when you least expect it. Well "Why" has always been there for me and I wish at times it was not. I am writing this blog because I just felt the urge to keep a written journal of my journey back to where I know I should be, back to where I need to be and back to where I belong.  It is going to be all I expect and then some, fully prepared I go ready to face all that awaits me. I hope you enjoy and I hope you learn and I hope that at the end of the road..wow I dont know..
Thats why I am just one big experiment and this is just the experiment of me :o